Joda esta MIERDA!!!

" And thus I clothe my naked villainy
With odd old ends stolen forth of Holy Writ,
And seem a saint, when most I play the devil."
(Richard III, Act 1 Scene 3)

Brilliant quote there by an evil and twisted son of a bitch in one of Shakespeare's brilliant plays. There are so many things going through my head right now. A collision of violent thoughts, vivid imagery of blood spill, the regurgitation of hypocrisy and betrayal, the urge to inject some sense of patience in me... too much drama to the point where I am now starting to believe all over again that truth does not exist but the lies do. Only lies that can bind self-absorbed individuals who will do anything (even if that means destroying another individual and scarring him/her for life) to achieve what they can perceive as bliss and some sort of security in life. You open your mouth and spit at us with your poisonous words and venomous saliva. We are all imperfect mortals of this fucked-up world but you are too proud to admit as one of us. We are each other's nemesis and you are enjoying this triumph too much to put an end to this discrimination, hatred and anarchy that only benefits you and your fellow acolytes. You may have won the battle but you haven't won the war. Justice will be imminent and I will be waiting for that. Even if I have to wait a thousand years, I will be waiting in my grave. The tables will turn and we'll see who gets the last laugh. Do not fucking remind us of what we already know. Stop twisting tales and manufacturing lies discreetly just so you could parade your "virtue" in the eyes of the majority. Mierda joda, you don't know shit!!!

There are so many words left unspoken, so much more to comprehend. Time will only allow the reasoning of this to be regurgitated. My sanctuary lies in the powerful words of Metal music. My inspiration, my source of comfort, my shoulder to cry on. These powerful words that can reinforce one's disillusioned state of mind. That keeps one afloat. And only those who understand and feel the power of these words can comprehend what I'm talking about. This is what I feel right now. They lie in the words of some of Arch Enemy's masterpieces.

Silent Wars
This is killing us, Fighting the truth a losing battle
We believe in nothing, Just hatred for each other!!
Tragic sinister serenade, Twisted melody shatters reality
Dying hopes for a better day, Fragile dreams that break away
No more, no more! This pain must end!!
We have chosen to suffer.. Believe in nothing but...
Hatred is a vicious circle, Betrayal is at hand
Paralysed souls bleeding, Begging for salvation
Deeper and deeper the wounds we cut
The truth burning our flesh
Silent war to set us free, Stigmata of a tragedy
No more, no more! This pain must end!
We have chosen to suffer, Feeling nothing but hate
It's eating us up from the inside
Taking our feelings away!!

Instinct
The more I see - the less I believe
The more I hear - the less I care
This world we've created, has left me cold
This world is sedated, dying in its sleep
I feel nothing
Seen it written on a thousand faces
The simple truth we fear
Seen it happen in a thousand places
Instinct brought us here
The more I see - the less I believe
The more I hear - the less I care
We used to be the chosen ones
Second to none
Look at what we've become
A pathetic excuse for life
I feel nothing
I can feel nothing, Nothing at all
Except for the pain, That hits me again

Leader Of The Rats
Crawling in the slime
Dirt infested minds
Always second best, leader of the rats
Spreading their disease
Hiding behind trivial cynicism
Venomous tongues spitting forth lies
So quick to criticize the life of others
Who are you to judge us
On a higher plain
Our art lives on forever
You are the scum beneath us
Fighting your pathetic battle
Anonymous animosity, Dirt infested minds
Laughing right into your face
As we watch your infantile behaviour
Love us or hate us - we don't care
We never aimed to please you
Anonymous animosity, Dirt infested minds
Anonymous animosity, Spreading their disease
Always second best
Leader Of The Rats
Spreading their disease

Vultures
Breathing life into these mares where enemies turn into flesh
This is the abyss I fear the most – I feel their eyes staring at me
Waiting with carnivorous patience, their memory timeless
For all they know I must succumb sometime…
A solemn cry rises to the sky as heavy wings blacken out
The morning sun with infinite darkness. Am I dreaming or am I dead?
In search for my heart – Lost in this hell
The vultures are soaring above – Tearing me apart
Screaming Voices in my head. A sudden pain then deadly silence
Devouring the remains of my heart – I can feel it dying
Picking at the bones of my soul
Left me dead inside
The more I gave the more they took
Left me dead inside

Majlis Khatam Al-Quran and 21

On the 4th of August I officially turned 21 years old. Tua tua tua. My siblings gave me a little birthday surprise at midnight with a very scrumptious chocolate cake :) Didn't really enjoy the day since it was the first day of the new semester coupled with only two hours of sleep. Back to uni, back to studying. Boo. I had another celebration at night with the other siblings and I'm not exactly happy at the fact that my party was like a kids' party (yes, with lots and lots of kids) and that I didn't even get to eat at my own party :( Plus, they started having ice-cream without me and my cake was too colourful. Boo. But at least Wira showed up and that made my day :) This is the first time in my life having to make a birthday wish three times in a year. I blew out the candles three times on three different cakes with different people and yes, I make a birthday wish every year. I usually make the same birthday wish every year but this time it's different :) and I really really really really hope that it will come true! Oh and Miza bought me and my other friends a very very scrumptious chocolate cake to celebrate our belated birthdays. Yay!

We had a Majlis Khatam Al-Quran for 18 people on the 7th of August on a Thursday night. Our one month of practice (mengaji) was a fun ride and I guess it paid off. I actually had fun reading all the Surah-surah (verses of the Quran) and Alhamdullillah everything went well. There were a few mistakes here and there but the ceremony turned out fine. I was very nervous, when I was on stage I just looked down at my book the whole time to avoid myself from laughing and being embarrassed. It was an overwhelming and nerve-wrecking experience but nonetheless it was also fun and such an amazing experience that I will never forget. What I felt that night no words can explain and it made me wish that I could be a better person. Oh well. Tahniah kepada kami keatas kejayaan ini! :)