This heart bleeds

this heart bleeds in the depths of the night
when abandoned and neglected, screaming silently in pain
squeezing the blood out, pouring in endless streams
crimson stains all over this life, tainted with the illusion of hope
death is imminent, latching itself on this bleeding heart
and still this heart remains impervious although not oblivious.

this heart sinks into the depths of pain
when stabbed and stepped on, weeping silently in pain
rip this heart out from this body with your mighty strength
the sweet feeling of pain with every tear of the veins
the beating of this heart slows down as the blood drains
pouring out from the holes that you have created with your indifference
as it empties the heart leaving it hollow and tattered.

life escapes out of this ruined heart
slowly as it stops beating and turns sour
death enters silently with a big grin on its face
as it fills the empty heart with its presence
spilling black paint all over the destroyed walls
this heart finally stops beating as death prevails
and now you can throw it away and live in peace.

Born into a world never asked to be here

Just feeling so down and feeling like shit while listening to Guns N Roses' November Rain. Sad. Yes, rub it all in. That's just what I need now. Blerrrghhh!!!

Salt added to the wounds

It breaks my heart to see you leave. What's worst is that there wasn't a choice for that at all. How many more heartbreaks can one endure? I'm forced to say goodbye reluctantly to a brother so dear to me, to the only metal head I've ever had in my life, the only one I know who understands me, the only one I know who I have so much in common with, the one I grew up with for two decades, my companion in our retreat from all those shit. After you left it made me feel empty, I just looked around your room and remembered all the shit we did there together, all the good times we shared and also the bitter ones we endured together. We grew up with all the laughter and tears, you were always the one who made us all laugh. The comedian of the bunch. You did so much for me and everyone else here that are so dear to you. I remember how you kept feeding me all those metal shit that I needed and how you helped me find myself. I've lost the only metal head I've ever had so dear to me. My source of metal. Just two days before you left you planned for us to get together and have dinner together for this whole month. It just hurts to know that's just not possible now because you're gone. How are things going to be without you? Now we don't have another guitarist to jam with :( It just hurts so much to know that you are now gone. Every time I hear James Hetfield or Metallica it just reminds me so much of you. I just hope that you are happy wherever you are and I hope life won't treat you harshly. Don't worry, I will stay hard for you and not go emo, I promise. I hope that you will be back with us in the near future. Please take care my dear brother, I will always love you no matter what happens. Always. :'(

Shit happens. For whatever reasons we might never know. Sometimes in life, things do not turn out the way you want them to and there's nothing you can do about it. You just can't stop some things from happening, nobody is that potent. Maybe you can just delay the inevitable but there is no way of stopping it. Whether you like it or not, you have to accept it and learn to live with it even though you have to do it the hard way. That's just how life is no matter who you are or what position you hold in society. It is times like these when all you can do is just hope for the best, not for the worst. I just wish that one day you can try to get rid of your fears of being weak that's determining your actions. I hope you can stop believing that pack of hyenas around you who keep feeding you lies and telling you to do things that would just destroy your relationship with some people. I know that you are not a bad person, I just wish that you can find it in your heart to at least show some compassion. Please stop being so afraid to show some weakness. We are all just human beings and I'm sure that you don't have a heart of stone. Just the bunch of vultures surrounding you. There's more pain to endure but I hope that this will all end soon, I just hope that things can get better in the near future and that one day this will all just be a distant memory.

And not forgetting, Selamat berpuasa to all muslims!