It's 4 a.m.

Last night I had the pleasure of hogging the Guitar Hero for a few hours when my siblings were playing futsal heheh. I think I have gotten a bit better. I think. But I still suck at it. Here’s a funny photo of one of my bros playing Guitar Hero (he got better at it and look at him showing off! Hahaha kambang).

Anyway, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. It just occurred to me that I should be glad and thankful for what had happened to me. And I actually listed down the many reasons why I should be glad. Someone up there must’ve loved me so much to have saved me from one of the many shitty situations I’m facing. No longer do I have to be hurt, insulted and constantly offended by the person I love. No longer do I have to put up with an utterly unbelievable childish behavior that I can’t even stand. No longer do I have to deal with someone who acts like an asshole all the time, even in public. No longer do I carry the shame and embarrassment of being attached to an asshole. No longer do I have to worry about what the next word the person I love will utter to my siblings and friends that will offend and embarrass both them and I. No longer do I have to worry and think about how I am going to spend the rest of my life with a nine-year old kid stuck in a twenty-year old body. No longer do I have to deal with how the person I love constantly call me names such as “bitch, stupid, crazy” just to name a few. No longer do my siblings and friends have to make an effort in trying to like the person I love just for me. No longer do they have to hide what they think and how they feel about that person in order not to hurt me.

I have been spending a lot of time with my siblings lately and thank god for the three month break because I feel like I haven’t been spending a lot of time with them because I’m usually busy with my own things to do. I’m very grateful that I have them in my life and I love them to bits because I know that no matter what, I will always have them and they will always be there for me. We go through the same shit together and we will always have each other no matter what. Can you say the same about yourself? I know for a fact that we cannot change anybody unless they make an effort to change themselves. I’ve been changing for the better but you’ll never see my now. :) I suggest you do the same because I swear that if you keep up with your attitude, you will just push people away and when that happens, all you can do is put yourself in misery and have suicidal thoughts. All you can do is slit your wrist and cry out pathetically “nobody loves me… nobody cares about me… I don’t deserve to live… I want to die because nobody cares.” Hahaha thinking back on those times, they were actually quite funny. Funny because it’s pathetic. And what is up with emo kids these days? The emo scene is spreading like an airborne disease. Really, it’s very annoying. It’s a stupid phase and it’s a stupid trend. Just because you listen to those shitty emo music, you think you’re so cool? You think you rock? You think you’re so hardcore? “Oh I listen to bands like Funeral for a Friend, Finch, The Used and other emo shit so that makes me cool!” Grow up emo kids! Oh and you emo shitheads look pathetic and idiotic with your gay hairstyle. Gay gay gay. Seriously, just grow up already!