My Works

¡Hola! I moved my posts from my multiply blog to here. This is my first blog post. I'm not going to narrate my life story or every single thing that I do but I'm going to post my works, my writings, and anything I find inspirational that I think is worth posting. Or maybe crappy stuff if I'm bored. I found these in my old archives and I'd like to share them with you. This first one is called 'Masterpiece' and is a short fiction I wrote for 'The Voice' Newsletter in Maktab Duli in 2005. It was inspired by what I was going through. The second one is a poem I wrote for the poetry club in Maktab Duli. Sadly though, we never got to publish our anthology of collected poems as was planned.

MASTERPIECE

Trapped in a luxurious cell, the young girl contemplates suicide. Where is her salvation? She cries out for her tourniquet with silent screams filling out the hollow room. To her, nothing mattered more than a pinch of love and affection. Constantly moving but never going anywhere like a clock upon the wall, she needed affection to quench her thirsty heart. Her body lives but there is nothing inside, hollow and empty- soulless.

Driven by the most unimaginable mental torture and hatred, she starts to lose herself by slashing her wrist with a blunt kitchen knife. Tormented and torn apart, her weak bloody hands run back and forth, clutching her hair strand by strand. Weeping in perplexity’s arms, she is ready to relinquish the collected pain that has been trapped in a stinging bottle.

She couldn’t understand this metaphoric world of pain and delusion. What about the content life that other people possessed? What about it? What about the promises you made? You regarded her as an appalling burden, labeled her an ungrateful wretch when the only thing she needed she never possessed. She couldn’t take anymore of your resentment. Can’t you see? Her life is now fragmented into subtle pieces, and has always been since she landed on your hands. An incarcerated introvert, anti-social wrecked individual does not confide her problems nor discuss her miserable life to any breathing person. She has been anticipating deliverance for too long now. There is no more patience left in her.

Years passed by, endless hours of tears flooding stopped. A dusty skeleton figure sits on the ground, legs crossed in a dusty abandoned room in a deserted mansion. A once ethereal figure, the corpse is covered in a dirty, all crimson, once pearl-white dress, stained with your sadism. It is clear to see that she had deceased tragically without anybody’s consent. Long has she been forgotten, she will never forget every single thing you did to her. Although you may not ever see her again now, she will always be haunting you in your dreams for eternity. Now you act tragically in an inept manner locked up in an institution. You have had a taste of your own medicine. That is your own work of art. That is your masterpiece.


Once Again

Doomed with solitude, possessing a heart without a home
Cast out and neglected in a world so cold
When suddenly, you stepped into my life
With nothing but the best of intentions
And gave me bliss I have never felt
Maybe I didn't know what it was
But everything seemed content, it was mutual
The way you held me, drifted me into a serene storm
The tranquility you brought, so solid, so tangible, so palpable
You whispered to my ear, "I love you"
I elevated into a numb state of oblivion
Reviving my childishness, my heart danced to a joyous tune
The whole world was at my feet
Then suddenly the bad omen came to light
The image of you splintered into tears
Tearing my heart into pieces
You have prevailed through what is me, robbed my integrity
Tears poured endlessly, crimson regret flooded
Hence drawn into a state of perplexity
In this labyrinth you put me through
You have fabricated your lies, leaving me stifled
Thus now came the inference that maybe
I am never able to perceive perpetual bliss
And once again doomed with solitude
Once again possessing a heart without a home
Once again in a world so cold


Wrong

You were wrong to admit me. I was wrong to fall for you.
Forfeit the chance. Shatter my dreams.
Exploit me and my pledge to you.
Blinded by strong forces. Fooled by conspiracy.
Incarcerated by your selfishness.
Dumbfounded by your lies.
Liberate me!!
Take me to a place where I can find my own piece of mind.
Please take me away!!
Ship me off this hellhole.
I am trapped, deprived of bliss.
Where is my salvation?
My flaws start to shine right through you.
Stifle my optimism. Shatter my confidence.
Prevail for your triumph in killing the only one who cares.
Hate me, loath me, despise me.
I don't fucking care anymore!
Your pride and arrogance shine on you as your light.
Your greed defines your fucked-up self-centeredness.
Stab my back with your knives.
Cut my heart into tiny pieces.
Pierce my soul and fill it up with pain.
Cause that's what you're capable of.